You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
