4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
