i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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