Can Purell be used as lube?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
