Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
