the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
