so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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