YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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