Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
