I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
