we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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