The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize