Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i dont even know how to be here
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
