It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone came in the potted fern
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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