Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
