Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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