You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
