Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
