just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
