i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
