and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
