I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
