Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.

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(845): View more from New York

no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill

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(214): View more from Texas

If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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(415): View more from California

We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!

(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm not seeing this movie with you.

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(818): View more from California

I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020

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