stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
