So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
