Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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