bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
God I need to hump something, right now.
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