No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize