so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
