I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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