Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize