I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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