Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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