he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
