He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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