So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
