Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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