You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
