Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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