the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
