do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
