Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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