So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
