never play flip cup with pint glasses
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
