It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
