i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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