no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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