My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
