We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
