Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
