Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
