To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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