if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
