sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
