go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
