it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
do herpes really smell.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
