spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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